A few months ago, my son came home with a project called “Special Me”. He was to draw pictures of things that matter to him , his hobbies, his family and so on. I recall the saying that if everyone is special – then no one is. I don’t buy into that at all. No matter how many similar drawings came out of that classroom, not one would be the same. They were all special, different, unique.
Biologically – we truly are different. Each of us is a unique array of cells that isn’t exactly placed together in the exact same way anywhere else. We may be similar, but we are not the same.
Therefore, it seems counterintuitive to our makeup to try to force ourselves in square holes when we are born to be round. Why is there so much importance to be like everyone else when we were born to shine – and by shining, it doesn’t mean we are special because we shine brighter than everyone else, but rather we had our unique light to the world. Along with everyone else.
What gets in the way of being our authentic selves? Fear , mostly.
Fear that our authentic self will not be accepted, loved, and supported. Fear of those who may harm us for being something they are not. Fear that it will unravel relationships and we will be abandoned.
Closets aren’t reserved for our sexuality, relationship styles or gender identification. They are the places we go to keep our authentic selves tucked away. Protected from the judging glares outside.
Anyone may have a story. Someone who wanted to be a writer but was afraid to disappoint the family. Someone who held close to their heart a God who was not of their parent’s belief. Someone who believed that love can be all around but are chastised for not doing so in a specific way. Someone who connects with another person, not a specific gender and is afraid of being disowned.
Let’s call those closets for what they are – prison cells. In our minds, we are punishing ourselves for not coinciding with the “similar” rather than celebrating the “special”.
Outside of those prison cells, we cannot see the real risk, the real threat to our authentic selves and we imagine the dragon that awaits us. We have heard the roar and believe that the animal is ready to eat us alive should we dare step out.
In the darkness, it is our minds that build the menace and put it on a pedestal. Then it is our painting of what stands outside that is what is feared , rather than the animal that really does await.
So what happens…when we let ourselves free? When we open the door?
We see what truly stands before us and living our authentic life. It very well can be dragon we imagined. But we are no more protected with that door open then with it closed. It could have still squashed us where we hid.
Now, the animal that stands in our way is known. Our eyes are open, and we see it for what it truly is. And when you see your authentic self on the other side, waiting to embrace, then you want to fight to get there.
When that door opens, we have also taken the chance that the animal just does not exist. That it was only our fear that blocked the path. Even if the path had some rocks along it, it may have it’s stinging moments but the only one stopping you is you.
So shine bright. Not everyone will love your colours, but those who shine with you, will glow with you.
My So Called Solo Poly Life 